Dragoons on Talk Shows
by Kee2
Summary: I hope you like this one I worked for over an hour on this my fingers hurt. Basically with me, the Dragoons, Talk show hosts, and a special person. THE ALMIGHTY DEE!!! Please read and review I want to know about what you thought on this one


Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Dragoon or Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones or Sally la la la whatever her name is or Maury  
I have no idea what's going on. . . Oh yeah. This is basically a mix of Dragoons, Dee, talk shows, and me. I think this is going to be good. What is the deal with my Dragoons and Disney fic? NO ONE reviewed? Does everyone hate Disney cause I tortured the living hell outta those puppets  
  
Dragoons on Talk Shows  
  
Ok this first one is we start at Maury with Miranda who gained a southern accent and 30 pounds  
  
Maury: The topic is "Help! My teenager dresses like a whore". Lets start with Miranda. Tell us whats wrong  
  
Miranda: Well I've been friends with Meru for a long time and she's always dressed like a slut. I want her to stop before she gets into trouble  
  
Maury: Ok well OW!!!!  
  
Maury turns around to see that Kee is poking him with a stick  
  
Kee: So old. . . yet still alive. You must have so much botox in you Joan Rivers has none left  
  
Kee pokes him and sees that botox is squirting out of his ear  
  
Maury: SECURITY!!!!  
  
The security takes Kee away but he starts to poke one of them  
  
Kee: So bald yet so shiny  
  
Maury: Ok lets bring out MERU!!!!  
  
Crowd boos Meru as she walks to the chair cursing them out  
  
Maury: Why do you dress like that  
  
Meru: Because they found me like this in Donau and I have no other clothes  
  
Maury: Lets hear from the audience members  
  
Maury points and talks to someone  
  
Dee: (yes the mighty Dee) MERU!!! You owe me a dollar from the bet and I want my shoes back STOP STEALING THEM I WANT DOUNUTS!!!  
  
Maury: Don't get your personal bull(beep) in this show  
  
Dee slaps Maury and takes the megaphone and beats him with it  
  
Maury: We'll ow be ow right ow back ow. Tomorrow is "man or woman" with Kuja from Final Fantasy IX OW!!!  
  
Now we join Dart and Shana on Jerry Springer. The crowd is chanting almost hypnotically. They quiet down as Jerry shoots one of the people to shut up  
  
Jerry: Welcome to my show today "Secrets of Dragoon Trash" We meet Dart and Shana  
  
Dart: Shana I have a confession to make. . . Shana im gay. . .  
  
Shana: I know  
  
Dart: Please stop im sorry I didn't tell you sooner  
  
Jerry: Let's see what the audience say  
  
Jerry goes to the mighty one herself  
  
Dee: Dart, we knew you were a flaming homo since Seles stop thinking your lying to us  
  
A fight breaks out of nowhere as the guards come and the audience starts chanting their names  
  
Kee: What a (beep)ing train wreck for a show. . .  
  
Now we're at Jenny Jones with Kongol and Rose  
  
Jenny: Hi and welcome to today's title "Psycho-Bitch Devil-Worshippers" Today we see Kongol. Kongol, how did it get so bad?  
  
Kongol: Scary witch-lady scare me. Make her stop!!  
  
Jenny: OK let's bring out Rose!!  
  
Crowd boos as she kills them all  
  
Jenny: Rose why?  
  
Rose: Well because I have the dark dragon spirit, I'm the Black Monster, I killed countless people, I loss my only love, and no one loves me ::sniff::  
  
Jenny: Ok we're going to give you a makeover  
  
Rose: WHAT!!??  
  
A team of skimpy lifeguard ladies ::drools:: taser her and give her a makeover  
  
Jenny: Let's me rose now  
  
Rose comes out in a pink dress, blonde curly hair, and makeup  
  
Rose: I swear to Soa I'm going to kill you, you old (beep)  
  
I guess you see the next scene. Anyways Rose is putting Jenny's head in a circle holding a cat  
  
We join that Sally lady with Haschel and Miranda (without the accent and 30 pounds)  
  
Sally: ::holding her life machine:: Hi and welcome to "out-of-control teenagers". We meet Haschel who says his buddy Miranda is out of control  
  
Haschel: Well Miranda is a bitch and im sick of it. . . stop hogging the life machine  
  
Haschel and Sally share the life machine  
  
Sally: Let's bring out Miranda  
  
Crowd boos and she kicks their asses  
  
Sally: What's with AHHHH!!!  
  
Kee is poking her with a stick breaking her cardboard bones  
  
Sally: AHHHH! MY TIBULA!!!! AHHH MY URETHRA!!!!!!! GUARDS  
  
They take Kee away  
  
Sally: Miranda do you do drugs?  
  
Miranda: No im a natural bitch  
  
Sally: why?  
  
Miranda: I don't do drugs because one lick of the ecstasy tablet and I'll be like Kee  
  
Flash to the time Kee was in a dark corner humping a cactus Flash  
  
Miranda: That's why  
  
Suddenly the door opens  
  
Sally&Haschel: NOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
With the blow of the wind it blows them away. It turns out they were made out of dust!! Nothing left but clothes and credit cards  
  
Miranda: No boot camp for me  
  
All: BOOO!!!!!  
  
The End  
  
How was it? Review don't be shy or lazy I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE ::lifts a sock:: 


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